Melissa Kaplan's
Herp Care Collection
Last updated January 1, 2014

Significant Otherspeak

What the S.O.s of iguana owners say...and what they really mean.

©2002 Darry Conner


When communicating with your significant other about your iguana, here's what they say, and the truth - what they really mean.

What They Say   The Truth
I decided to let her "free roam" for a while.   She got a way from me and I was too lazy to chase her.
I left the poop there because I know you like to monitor it.   I didn't want to clean out the poopie dish.
She ate everything in her dish, so she was probably full.   I was too busy to give her any more food.
I think she would prefer for you to give her meds.   I'm not sticking my hand near an unhappy iguana mouth.
I think she likes the house she has. We don't want to stress her with a move.   I don't want to build anything right now.
How nice of you to order her a new tube off the Net to save money.   Thank God they don't offer iguana supplies on QVC.
I think she wants you to trim her claws. You always do such a nice job on them.   They need trimming, but I don't want to get scratched doing it.
No, you can go ahead and peel her. I know how much you enjoy it.   No way I'm going to pull off iguana skin. That's gross!
Be sure to poop her before she gets in the shower with me. She'll be a lot more comfortable.   I don't want to take a chance of her pooping on my foot again in the shower.
I think we have enough good photos of her now.   Quit wasting money on all that film. She's not going to change that much in a week.
She's so cute when she's asleep.   She's a holy terror when she's awake.

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