Melissa Kaplan's
Chronic Neuroimmune Diseases
Information on CFS, FM, MCS, Lyme Disease, Thyroid, and more...
Last updated January 1, 2014

Coping with Life-Altering Illness

 

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You can't go home when home's no longer there...
We all go back there, visiting in our minds the life we once had, from time to time, sharing the life we had and the person we used to be with some of the people we now meet. I think sometimes we do it to remind ourselves and try to get others to see that we weren't always the bumbling idiots we now sometimes feel ourselves to be, whether or not that's how we appear to others.

It's like our past life is a building condemned after a disaster - an earthquake, hurricane, tornado, fire, or flood. Instead of tearing the old house down and rebuilding, or taking what can be salvaged and picking up the FEMA check before moving on and starting over again. Instead of making a constructing a new life, we pitch a little tent and camp out in the yard, dreaming about how nice the place used to look, all the great times we had in there. We even drag passersby in to see the shambles and try to describe to them what it used to look like and how happy we were in there in the days before the disaster.

If you are still camped out in your old yard, it's time to move on. By all means, take what mementos you can find, but it is time to start building new dreams, new memories, new life.

Research has shown that seniors do better when they extend themselves to care about others, doing volunteer work to help people who are in similar or worse straits than they are. So do those who are living with chronic illness.

 

 

Coping
Coming To Terms With A Life You Didn't Plan
Energy Conservation
Guilty Non-Recovery
Helping Others Relate To Your Symptoms
Looking Good, Feeling Bad
Information & Support: Setting Limits for Support Groups & Physicians
Setting Limits for Ourselves
Sick or Tired?
The 10 Commandments of Stress Relief
Understanding the Different Phases of CFS
Valley of the Shadows
When You Need A Friend
Worn Out At the Finish Line: Seabiscuit author paces herself

 

Communicating With Your Doctor
Can we talk? How to communicate with your doctor

 

Self-Help Skills Development
The Art of Drawing A Blank
CFIDS/Fibromyalgia Self-Help
Living With CFS
Managing Cognitive Problems
Recovering from CFS: A Guide to Self-Empowerment
How Your Brain Rewires Itself

Chronic Illness/Adversity:
Keep Working, Girlfriend: Women, Work & Chronic Illness
LifeChallenges

 

Life After Health
Betting on Seabiscuit: Laura Hillenbrand Beat The Odds
Diseases That Stay Out Of Sight
From the Mouths of Idiots
Getting On With The Rest Of Our Lives
Survival Strategies

 

For Family and Friends
Information to help them understand and be constructively supportive
Articles and Excerpts from The Invisible Disabilities Advocate
"But you don't LOOK sick..."  (PDF for easy printing)
But You LOOK Good! (IDA booklet)
The Spoon Theory
How To Kill A Sick Friend   (PDF
for easy printing)
How to be Supportive of Persons with CND
Letter to Normals (People without FM/CFS)

Organizations for Family/Friends/Caregivers
ShareTheCare.org
The Well Spouse Foundation
See more at Caregiver Resources

 

For Students
See also the Kids and CFS/FM Resources page...
College Life, Real Life: Make Every Moment Count!
Kids study finds real attention deficits
School & CFS: Not Mutually Exclusive

 

More on coping from Chronic Fatigue/Fibromyalgia @ About.com

 

 

http://www.anapsid.org/cnd/coping/index.html

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